KSUL #1: Western Sveyraki Wild Wheat
MUSIC: The Fountain by Logan Nickelson.
HERYS: And that was “Trageme” by The Weepies & The Feelies, a favorite of mine and an all-Soulborn outfit from right here in Pandeya. They’ll be playing two shows this weekend at Azrej’s Loft off of West 13th, so why don’t you go see them and have a real emotional experience?
Yes, yes, we all know Star Shot will be in town this weekend too, but when you think about it, won’t bands like Star Shot always be around? So treat yourself to something a little more ephemeral and go see The Weepies & The Feelies.
It’s the top of the hour, with that hour being 1 a.m. I‘m your host, Herys Fernwick, coming to you live from KSUL, our little community studio here at Serault U. I know not everyone would consider this the best of time slots, but y’know, I think in some ways, it can be. It really gives me the chance to be heard by everyone who needs to hear something. So to all you insomniacs out there, all you nighttime Dayborn, all you full-shade blooming flowers, listen close, cause right now, it’s just you and me in the moment.
SOUND: Bell rings.
HERYS: Oh, of course, you and me and this studio’s trusty houseplant-in-chief, Wickfern. Say Wickfern, you mind handing me tonight’s list of news points from up on high?
SOUND: Paper flourish.
HERYS: Thank you, Wickfern. Now what is it that the school thinks is so important for you to hear…?
Let’s see, it’s the beginning of term, so there’s the usual litany of parking reminders from the administration.
Reminder to Starborn that using telepathy to move others’ vehicles out of parking spaces is not allowed.
Reminder to Battleborn that using enhanced strength to move others’ vehicles out of parking spaces you want is not allowed.
Reminder to Harvestborn that sending your vines after vehicles to drag them out of the city limits to be reclaimed by nature is not allowed.
And reminder to all students parking on campus to have your parking permit prominently displayed at all times, or you will be fined.
Well, I don’t know about you, Wickfern, but I’d say at least one of those is a little unfairly biased against us Harvestborn.
SOUND: Bell rings.
HERYS: But then again, what self-respecting Harvestborn hasn’t used their blessing as Cerezault intended to inflict a little damage on these pervasive metal monsters, hm? Certainly no one the school officials would be listening to at one in the morning, I can tell you that much.
So, next item on the list is, of course, the one I have no doubt the school has been spoon feeding you every two hours on the dot - that with the arrival of those 12 new students today, that little All Blessings Program they’re so proud of is finally off the ground.
And I know the school has probably swayed you with a flood of positive PR into thinking, “Wow! What a great idea! Spending a bunch of money to bring in random students from all over the world just so they can build a training program around the concept of blessing unity rather than actual skill! I can’t wait to see the new avenues this opens up for everyone else!”
Well, sorry to burst your bubble about that one, but here’s the long and short of it. I’ve seen our school’s new recruits already, and aside from their Harvestborn, who I actually know from our days back in blooming school, they look like a bunch of characters who couldn’t hack it in regular warden training or like their patron’s name is Nepotism. Clearly, anyone good enough to actually excel in the program knew how silly it was from the start.
I’m calling it, folks. It looks like this failure-in-process is just another expensive way for the school to flex its muscles and try to remind everyone how relevant they still are.
“But Herys!” you cry. “What about the Tempestborn they’ve brought on! The first Tempestborn to ever be trained outside of Oudenagi! Surely that must be worth something!”
And all I can say to that is - look. There are more Tempestborn in the world. There’s like, at least a hundred of them. There’ll be more of them in the future. Having one of them around isn’t that impressive, no matter how selective their patron is.
Now, here’s some real news for you. Remember that wild strain of wheat they discovered west of Sveyrac a few years back? That really hardy one it looked like could survive well into winter in the right conditions? Well, they’ve been so successful at cultivating it domestically, they’ve started using it commercially! I’ve already tried the new fried bread entree made with that wheat at my favorite Kontian restaurant, and I can tell you, you can really taste those wild grains. Now that’s progress.
SOUND: Bang on door.
HERYS: Aaaand it sounds like the word police - aka station management, aka my roommate Darvin - is here to try to shut down my broadcast once again. But don’t you worry, my dear listeners. They’ll need someone to fill the best timeslot on air again sooner or later.
So sweet late night or gentle early morning wanderings to all you listeners out there. Whichever strikes your fancy. Wickfern, why don’t you press play on whatever we’ve got in the queue there and...let it play us out?
SOUND: Play button click.
SOUND: Door smashed open.
MUSIC: Long-Distance Caller by Logan Nickelson.
OUTRO: To help keep KSUL Radio sponsor free and community funded, and to keep Herys and Wickfern playing through the night, consider donating at KO-FI.com/soulborncity.
This episode was written and produced by Claudia Elvidge, with performances by David Hanna as Herys.